Hello. Hello. Who are you? Hmm, laundromat smell and neutral intentions. Have you seen the tall man? Hat man. Tell him to hurry up. I need to go potty but I can’t go potty here and if I walk away I’ll have to let him out of my sight and I’m not allowed to do that.
Last night we went on a walk to go potty but it’s always only me who goes potty on the walk. We went a different way than usual and he kept telling me we had to keep going and I wasn’t allowed to sniff. I think he’s optimizing for maximum distance traveled in a given amount of time, but I would actually gain more utility from the interaction by optimizing for maximum sniffing freedom. Anyway we saw a cat and I wanted to go play but he said no because every time I get excited and start panting he says no because– hello! hello! Long time no see!
What? Oh, yeah, last night. Last night he shaved my paws because they were brown after the walk. I think he shaved all of his fur one day because he played too much in the mud and it all got brown. Now the ground scratches my toes a little but the wind feels nice on them. I want to shave my ears next and run in the wind. Who’s howling? Awooooo! Awooooo! One day the hat man went away with a dog just like that, those dogs that are really big and have the flashing blue lights and run super fast on the road and howl really loud and he didn’t come back for 2 days. They must have had the best walk. I wish I went with them but he said stay so I stayed.
(2025-03-25)
Zoe Pian 